


Ramifications

by kronette



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 06:52:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story continues where "Crossover" left off.   This story assumes Kira and Vedek Bareil never met. Originally posted in 1995 under my other pseud, Shelley Wright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ramifications

From the space station near the wormhole.....

"Where have you been?" Commander Sisko demanded. His face was a mix of emotions: relief, at finding his two missing officers; concern, about the damage to their runabout; and bewilderment, at their appearance.

Major Kira Nerys was wearing an elegant purple pantsuit, while Doctor Julian Bashir was streaked with dirt, his uniform in shreds.

"Through the looking glass, Commander. It's good to be back." Major Kira's relief was evident. Dr. Bashir offered her a tired smile as the runabout returned to the correct DS9. They both sat back in their chairs, relaxing for the first time since they crossed over.

"We're going to have a lot of explaining to do," Major Kira observed as she tilted her head towards the Doctor.

"About where we've been or about our appearance?" Julian's impish grin shined through his dirt covered face.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm SO glad you retained your sense of humor, Doctor."

"Probably wouldn't have lasted over there if I hadn't. Though Odo was rather insistent about jokes." He flexed his jaw, remembering.

A beep caught their attention. "Coming onto Pad B. Docking clamps locked." Kira swung her chair around and got up. "Coming?"

Julian's smile cracked the dirt on his face. "Definitely. I'm ready to get cleaned up."

"The sooner, the better," Kira mumbled as she stepped out of the airlock and into a greeting party that would have put a Starfleet Admiral to shame. Commander Sisko, Lieutenant Dax, Chief O' Brien, and Constable Odo were anxiously waiting for them. Kira broke into a wide smile upon seeing them.

"All this for us? Or is a dignitary docking close by?" Julian quipped as he stepped down behind Kira.

The entourage smiled, with the exception of Odo. He let out his customary 'Hmph.' "Doctor. Major." Odo acknowledged with a brief nod to each. "What happened? Were you attacked?"

Sisko held up his hand. He had the same questions, but he could see the strain on both his officers' faces. "In a minute, Constable. The Doctor looks like he could use some medical attention. And a hot shower." He regarded Julian further, and added, "Doctor, I'm relieving you of duty for 26 hours. I need my officers in top condition, and you are in no condition to return to duty."

Julian thought about protesting, but Sisko's glare cut that thought short. Instead, he smiled gratefully at his commanding officer. "Yes sir." Sisko's face softened, and he smiled back. "Dax, make sure he goes to the Infirmary." Dax gave a short nod to Benjamin and gave Julian a motherly appraisal as she steered him toward the Infirmary.

Sisko's eyes turned to Kira. "Major, do you feel up to a quick briefing? Unless you need..."

She cut him off. "I'm fine, Commander." A brief smile appeared. "I don't know how much you'll understand, but I'll be happy to try."

Sisko gave her a bemused smile. She had no idea how many strange things happened to Starfleet officers. He directed O'Brien to check the runabout, then turned his full attention to Kira. "All right, then. Could you tell me about the damage to the runabout?"

Kira sighed. "At first there was just the plasma leak. After the Klingons attacked, I don't..."

Odo interrupted. "The Klingons?" he asked unbelievingly. "They would never fire on a Federation..."

Kira waved her hand to silence him. She lowered her voice, and spoke to Sisko. "Commander, I think it would be better if we went to your office. This may take awhile to explain." Kira glanced around, aware of the looks they were attracting.

Chief O'Brien's head popped out of the airlock. "Commander, it looks like we have major damage to the deflector grid. I'll get started on repairs right away."

"Very good, Chief. We'll be in OPS." Sisko extended an arm. "After you, Major." Kira led Sisko and Odo along the Promenade, telling them about the initial crossover. Sisko had heard about it, but Odo had to be filled in. As they walked past Quark's, a figure practically jumped in front of them. Instead of Kira's usual reaction to Quark - utter disgust- she actually looked happy to see him.

"Major! I heard you and Dr. Bashir had returned....new outfit?" Quark stared at her, and suddenly Kira remembered she wasn't in uniform. "Uh, it was a gift," she stammered, wishing she had taken another way to OPS.

Quark's eyes almost bugged out and touched the purple material. When his arm reached to do just that, her true feelings about Quark resurfaced. "Quark, you are a disgusting, insufferable little troll..." a smile broke over her face, "...who got exactly what he deserved." She stepped around him and continued along the Promenade. Odo and Sisko followed her, sharing questioning looks. Odo was the first to speak.

"Just what did you mean back there? He hasn't gotten anything!" He looked back at Quark, who was staring after them, confusion written all over his face.

She smiled at Odo. "Oh, yes he did. On the other side, he..." her voice faded with her smile as she realized just why Quark died on the other side. She stopped dead in her tracks, remembering the look on the other Kira's face when she ordered Quark killed.

"Major? Are you sure you don't need medical attention?" Sisko was getting concerned as he saw the glazed look in her eyes.

"Wha-?" She shook her head. "No. I'm fine. I was just...remembering something from the other side. Something unpleasant."

"Major, if you don't want to talk abut it, I understand." Sisko's concern was growing. She wasn't acting like herself.

She gave her head another sharp snap, and looked a bit like more like her old self. "No Commander. I don't mind. If we'll just continue to OPS, this will..." She took a step, but was stopped by Sisko's voice.

"No, Major. I want you to take a day to rest. It looks to me like you have a lot to go through. You relax, and get oriented again. I'll read your report, and if I have any further questions, I'll ask them in 26 hours." Kira looked ready to protest, then reconsidered. "Commander, I wouldn't mind the extra time, but I'm sure the Provisional Government will want to know where I've been..."

"I'll take care of that. As I told Bashir, I need my officers in top working condition, and you look like you could use some rest." He smiled. "It looks like you attended one wild party."

She glared at him. "Trust me. That was one party I was happy to leave." She nodded good-bye to both and strode to her quarters. As soon as she stepped inside, her gaze fell on her alter, and a sense of coming home enveloped her.

"Ah, home sweet home," Julian declared as he released the lock. He had steadfastly refused to go to the infirmary, despite Jadzia's insistence. He walked in his quarters and slumped onto his couch. Dax regarded him with thoughtful eyes. He hadn't told her much about what had happened, just that they had crossed over to the same universe as Kirk had 100 years ago. She had hoped to get some more information out of him, but he looked exhausted.

Julian rubbed his bleary eyes, succeeding only in getting more dirt in them. Dax watched him, slightly shaking her head. She stepped into a little room and returned with a wet cloth. "Here, let me help you before you put out an eye." She knelt by him, gently holding his chin while she scrubbed at him. She felt him tense, and stopped. "Julian, what's wrong? What happened to you over there?" Her voice was soft and showed her concern. Juilian had to smile. She probably didn't realize it, but she was mothering him.

"I learned a new trade," came out, and he instantly sobered at her withering look. "They had us Terrans working in the ore mines. I would venture it was similar to what the Bajorans went through under Cardassian rule."

Dax's eyes narrowed. "'They' who? Not the Cardassians." The thought of the Cardassians having control of _two_ universes left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Julian hesitated to answer, but Jadzia still had hold of his chin, and his gaze. He let out a sigh. "Yes, the Cardassians. Along with the Bajorans and the Klingons."

Her eyes widened and she let out a low whistle. "Talk about an alliance." She bit her lower lip, scrutinizing him. She knew how Cardassians treated prisoners. "Are you sure they didn't break anything? I wish you had gone to the infirmary," she admonished him.

He grimaced. "No, I'm fine. They would never  _break_ anything. They needed the workers alive, if barely," he added in disgust. His thoughts returned to the other O'Brien, having to live that existence. Dax only saw a haunted look in his eyes and put her hand on his shoulder, gently calling him back to the here and now.

"Juilian, what is it?" Her voice faded to almost a whisper. "What happened over there?"

Her question penetrated his memories and his eyes slowly focused on her. He took one look in her concern-filled eyes and smiled softly. "Nothing happened over there that I couldn't handle." His hand reached to her hair, smoothing it back. "It's' just...I'd rather not talk about it just yet." His eyes pleaded understanding.

She still didn't look convinced. Something was really bothering him, as if... "There's something you're hiding from me.." then a thought hit her. "This alternate universe. You saw me over there, didn't you?"

A look of horror crossed his face, and he emphatically shook his head. "No! Neither of us saw you there. In fact, I didn't see any Trills in the mines." He gave her a grudging smile. "Damn your quick mind. I didn't want to go into details, like who was over there and what they were doing. I don't think it would be fair to them. Do you understand?"

She thought for a moment, then nodded, saying, "It might make people uncomfortable, knowing who they were and what they did over there."

Julian released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Exactly."

Jadzia broke into her famous Trill smile. "From what little you've told me, I don't think I would've liked it over there." Her brow creased as her thoughts trailed one another. "In the original crossover, Kirk switched places with his counterpart. But we didn't have another you or Kira over here."

"It wasn't quite the same as Kirk's, believe me." Julian skirted around the issue of the other Kira. A quirky grin appeared, lifting one corner of Julian's mouth. "I guess you just weren't good enough for them," neatly changing the subject.

She raised her eyebrows, highly amused. "It's nice to see your sense of humor fared better than your uniform," she retaliated as she fingered what was left of his collar.

"Ah, yes." He looked down at the remains of his uniform. "I guess I should shower and change. And have some dinner." His eyes asked the question; "Care to join me?"

"Tell you what." Jadzia patted his arm. "I'll fix you something, then let you rest. How's that?"

He tried to hide his disappointment. "I could really use some company. Please stay, at least for a bit?"

"I guess I can stay for a little while," she relented as she saw his downcast expression. His smile lit the room, but she saw relief behind his eyes. "Now get in there!" She pointed to the shower.

"Gladly," he said, making such a hideous face she had to laugh. He cleaned himself up while Jadzia went to the replicator. Julian emerged a short time later, looking considerably better in gray slacks and a maroon shirt. His mouth watered at the food she had replicated. "Mmm, smells delicious. How did you know my favorite foods?" he asked as he sat down and dove right in.

Jadzia watched him in amusement, elbows on the table. "It's a science officer's job to analyze a situation and figure out the unknown."

Julian shot her a -yeah, right- look, and she grinned. "OK, it's programmed into your replicator."

"I knew it," he said, a smug smile playing on his lips.

They ate in relative silence for awhile, Julian concentrating on eating, Jadzia lost in thought. Her scientific mind was going through what she knew about the original crossover, and what Kira and Julian had experienced.

"Julian," she said, deep in thought.

"Hmm?" he was concentrating on the Baklava.

"I've been thinking about what you told me about your crossover. It was different from the original, wasn't it?"

Julian answered carefully. "In what way?"

Jadzia waved a carrot stick, ticking off inconsistencies. "Kirk's crossover had them actually switch places; but we didn't have you or Kira here. The first was caused by a transporter accident. You and Kira were in a runabout, with a plasma leak and deflector damage."

Julian shook his head. "Actually, we only had the plasma leak at first. The deflector damage was caused by the attack."

Jadzia waved her carrot at him. "Whatever. But there is one big difference between this crossover and the original."

Julian almost choked. "What's that?" he managed to croak out.

Jadzia looked smug. "You and Kira went through the wormhole."

Julian was so relieved she hadn't said, "Kira met herself," that at first, what she said didn't register. Then it dawned on him what she was implying. "Do you think the wormhole inhabitants sent us there? But why?"

Jadzia got an all-knowing smile. "The plasma leak. It must have hurt them somehow."

Julian slowly nodded. "It is a possibility. I hadn't thought of that." His brow wrinkled in concentration. "But then why would Kira..." He shut his mouth, his eyes got huge, and he got a decidedly guilty look on his face.

A strange look crossed Jadzia's face. She cocked her head to the side and started questioning him. "What about Kira? What happened to her over there? She looked fine when you two came back." Her voice rose with each question; concern for her friend evident.

Julian silently chastised himself while he tried to placate Jadzia. "Nothing happened to her. You saw for yourself; she was treated like an ambassador. Could we please just drop it?" He looked desperate to change the subject. "So, how long were search parties out looking for us?" His attempt at nonchalance failed miserably. He firmly believed it was Kira's decision to tell someone, if anyone, what she had gone through. But with Jadzia fixing him with her steely blue eyes...he didn't know how long he could hold out.

..........................................................

Kira had wandered around her quarters for half an hour, getting herself 'oriented again', as Sisko had suggested. She knew where she was; that wasn't the problem. Her thoughts were the ones who kept returning to the other side.  _They had a powerful, dominant Bajor. Something we've been trying to get over here for decades. And she used it for her own gain. I would never have done that. Or would I_? Her self doubts were going to drive her crazy. She reacted as she caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror. She ripped the purple outfit from her body, threw it in the incinerator, and changed back into her Bajoran uniform. She felt a little better, more distanced from that horrible experience. Her gaze fell again to her alter, and she felt drawn to it. She sank to the floor, hoping to find her 'center' again.

............................................................

Surprisingly, Jadzia gave in first. She sighed and lowered her gaze. "Only about 52 hours. It took a while for us to coordinate with New Bajor."

Julian breathed a sigh of relief that Jadzia had given up. But she still looked withdrawn, and more than a bit hurt. He realized her tactic: he had used it on patients who wouldn't cooperate numerous times. He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Kira is fine. Nothing happened to her over there. I swear."

She looked up to see the seriousness and sincerity in his eyes, and managed a thin smile. "That's all I needed to know."

"I'm so glad your concerned about m..," a yawn broke into his sentence.

"I AM concerned about you." She reached across the table to squeeze his hand. "That's why I stayed here. But now," her gaze switched to the 'mother' mode, "I think you should get some rest before you fall asleep on the table."

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Really. I've...I want to tell you, I've enjoyed your company tonight, Jadzia." He gently squeezed her hand, his eyes softening.

"Julian...," she started softly.

"I mean it. You've been a good friend. Thank you," he released her hand, "for everything."

She took a breath, obviously intending to say something, then switched it to, "You're welcome, Julian." She gave him a smile and got up to leave. "I'll see you in 26 hours."

He got up and escorted her to the door. "Hopefully, sooner." She flashed him a knowing smile, but merely said, "Maybe," and left.

He stood looking around his quarters, not quite knowing what to do. It had been a long time since he'd had any time off, not counting the trip to New Bajor. The first thing he did was get that tacky horror that had been his uniform and throw it in the incinerator. "I needed a new one anyway. That one didn't fit quite right." That done, he cleared the remains of dinner and got a fresh cup of Tarkalien tea. He sipped slowly, feeling his body starting to relax. His gaze fell to his bed, and it had never looked better. He got undressed and slid between the cool sheets, snuggling down in comfort. "Simple pleasures," he muttered gratefully and drifted off to sleep.

He tossed and turned, fitful dreams disturbing him. Images flashed through his mind: the Terrans down in the mine; of O'Brien, refusing to help him. The look of pleasure on Garak's face when he got the order to kill him. Kira, and Kira, watching him. The _hate_ directed at him. The mine. The Thorium leak. Him, looking for an escape route. Turning, weapon in hand. His eyes flew open. His body was streaked with sweat; his heart was racing faster than his thoughts. He tried to calm himself, thinking of something else - anything else but those images. He paced for a few moments, but that only caused more nervous tension. He even tried to meditate, but it didn't work. He admitted he needed to talk to someone- but who? No one else had gone through what he did. No one would understand...except Kira. But he didn't think she was ready to discuss her past, especially with him. Who then? Jadzia. She had lived a long time; she might be able to understand. His decision made, he went to a comm panel to call her. The door chimed before his hand reached the button.

"Who could that...? Jadzia." His eyes lit up. A smile tugged at his mouth as he went to release the lock. "It's sooner than I..." he stopped, surprise written all over his face.

Kira stood in his doorway, fixing him with a strange look. "Sooner than what?"

He found his voice. "Um...never mind. I...thought you were someone else."

"NOT funny, Doctor." Her icy tones cut through him, reminding him that she had to deal with another version of herself recently.

"I'm sorry Major," he apologized hastily . "I didn't mean...."

Her demeanor softened, and she sighed. "I'm the one who's sorry, Doctor." She took in his nightwear, a touch of embarrassment creeping in her voice. "I didn't mean to wake you up. "

He shrugged. "You didn't. I can't sleep. Too much on my mind." He paused, regarding her. "Why are you here, Major? Did you need something?"

She was beginning to wonder that herself. She had tried mediating for 20 minutes, but her mind refused to let her forget. She thought talking would help, but... "No, nothing. This was a mistake. I'll just be going....," she started to back away.

"Major, wait." Her startled eyes met his at his desperate tone. Once decided on a course of action, he kept with it. Since Kira was here, and she obviously needed to talk as much as he did... "Please, come in." Seeing her mistrust, he elaborated. "You came here to talk, didn't you?"

Her silence was his answer. "Well, I was just ready to call Dax when you showed up. I'd like to talk, too. I _need_ to talk. So do you. So," he waved at the interior of the room, "come in."

Kira reluctantly agreed, silently cursing him and thanking him for his intuition. He motioned at a seat and settled on the couch. Kira began pacing, her thoughts tumbling out of her mouth almost as fast as they were tumbling in her head. "I'm not sure exactly what's bothering me. I met myself, but she wasn't  _me_. She was this...twisted person, one who manipulated people, used people. I could never do that. But then she understood. About the violence. Just like me. And she acted like me, up to a point. But, she used Terrans in exactly the same way Cardassians used us over here. Every time I said _I_ had worked in the mines, they looked at me like I was crazy. Let me tell you, they're the crazy ones."

She stopped pacing and sat down. "Is any of this making sense?"

Julian leaned forward, lost in thought. "Actually, it does. You're upset because you saw another part of your personality take shape in front of you. She wasn't _you_. She was her, Intendant Kira Nerys, leader of Bajor. And Bajor was a member of the Alliance."

"Don't remind me," Kira shuddered. "Just thinking of Cardassians and Bajorans working together..." she slowly shook her head.

"The Alliance." Julian's forehead creased, deep in thought. "How could they capture O'Brien and the others? What about Starfleet? How could they let that happen?"

"Doctor, Starfleet _let_ this happen to Bajor for 60 years." She quickly shifted gears. "There _was_ no Starfleet. When James Kirk crossed over and talked to their Spock, he had an influence on him that changed the history of that universe. Spock became the Commander-In-Chief, and convinced Starfleet to become peaceful. They were quickly taken over."

Julian stared sadly at his folded hands, clenching them tighter. "I don't believe it. Because of  _peace_ , Terrans were forced into manual labor for the Alliance?"

"It was more like slavery, Doctor. You couldn't quit." She was getting angry; angry that she couldn't make Bashir understand, and angry at herself. "And what you experienced for a short time, my world experienced for generations."

He regarded her hesitantly, afraid to ask the next question. He asked it as gently as he could. "Was it, really that bad? For all Bajorans who worked in the mines?"

She fixed him with an icy glare, her voice almost as frosty. "No. It was worse. You had it easy. You were new. They gave you a 'breaking in' period." Her voice was rising, along with her frustration at making him understand. "You should be grateful you were sent there. They were going to kill you the minute you stepped onto that station." She was practically fuming.

He was taken back by her words, but forced himself to go on. "I've never seen anything like it in person. All those Terrans down in the mines. just plodding away, not caring what happened to themselves; to others. Well, _I_ cared. I tried to help some of them, the ones who needed medical attention. But there were so many," his voice faded. His eyes drifted for a moment, then refocused on the present. "And nothing I could do would get them out of there. Those people had given up. I just don't understand it." Julian ran his hands through his hair, helplessness coursing through his body. Kira could almost reach out and touch it.

She could understand the helplessness, the frustration he felt. But not his confusion. "Doctor, most of those people were probably born into that situation. They had no choice. They grew up, believing that was it. What the other O'Brien said, that was true. He didn't believe anything else was possible."

Julian shook his head. "But some of those people believed. Some tried to escape; others made it. Why didn't more of them try harder to fight back?" he asked honestly.

Kira was on edge. Julian was stepping on treacherous ground. She had fought her way out of the very situation he was describing, and was disturbed at reliving it for his benefit. But she felt she had to make him understand. "They tried to fight back, at the beginning. But with that powerful of a tyranny over them, any resistance was quickly stomped on. I'm sorry to say it, but sometimes, people just gave up."

"I don't believe it. _You_ don't believe it." He started pacing the room, getting angrier by the minute. "Did you _see_ O'Brien? He had no spirit, no more fire. He was a...a..coward!"

Kira jumped to her feet, her voice one of seething fury. "NO! No, he wasn't. He was simply a man trying to stay alive in a hellhole. And he was doing just fine until we came along." Her eyes flashed fire. This was her life she was defending.

"He wasn't alive. Oh, he breathed, but he wasn't  _alive_ , do you know what I mean?" Julian stopped ranting and looked directly into her eyes. She did understand. All too well.

She diverted her gaze, her voice softening. "I saw it too many times. That's why I never gave up. Because once you accepted it, you _were_ dead. In here." She tapped her chest.

Julian sank back down on the couch, nodding slowly. "Yes. I told O'Brien as much. That's what spurred him into action. Me telling him what he was living wasn't," he waved his hands, "life."

Kira actually smiled. He was finally beginning to understand her world. "That's the best way to get people incited, Doctor. Make them mad at you, then at least they feel _something_. Then you can talk to them; make them want to fight for their lives." She sat back down.

"I just wish I could have done more." Julian whispered, the images unbiddingly returning to his mind.

Kira slowly shook her head when she saw the helplessness return to his eyes. She knew he cared for his patients, for people, but hadn't realized how deep that caring went, or how far it reached. "We did enough. We got a few people thinking. Sometimes, that's all that's needed." She searched his face when he didn't respond. She noticed something else there, something she also understood. "Something else is bothering you. It's Odo, isn't it?"

Julian stood up, hugging his arms to himself as if he were cold. "Major, I'm a healer. It's my job to help people." He got very still, his gaze turning inward at a sight only he could see. "And I killed him. One shot, and no more Odo. I robbed that universe of a unique being. With one shot."

Kira wasn't neutral on this subject either. She considered Odo a friend, but what he had turned into over there, she didn't like. But, you had to do what was necessary to save yourself.

Julian sighed in resignation. "Rationally, I know that." Kira was startled. She didn't realize she had spoken out loud. Julian continued. "Emotionally, I'm angry with myself."

Kira nodded understandingly. "For killing him," stating it matter-of-factly.

Julian looked squarely at her. "For wanting to kill him." Silence greeted that announcement, then Julian started pacing again. "That scared me, Major. Sure, I've been angry before, but never to the point of wanting them dead. I thought it was alien to my nature."

Kira's voice dropped to a whisper. "I think all of us believe that once. But life isn't always that easy. It throws us into certain circumstances where it's us or them. And we do what we have to, regardless of what we believe."

Julian stopped pacing and faced her. "Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" He walked closer, intently watching her expression.

"Wha-what do you mean?" Kira stuttered, obviously flustered.

"I mean," Julian sat back down, directly across from her, "are you talking more to convince yourself?"

Kira was more than a little scared. She _was_ trying to convince herself; trying to give some sort of validation to the life she used to lead. Then she realized she just had. She was amazed. She had completely underestimated Bashir. Again. Here she was, poring her life out to him, and he was doing his best to understand the motives behind what she did. It was like he was reading her inner thoughts.

"I guess I was talking more about myself, Doctor," she admitted sheepishly. "I don't think I'm helping you much. I'm sorry."

He was able to smile softly. "Don't be. You've had these experiences bottled up for a long time. If they had stayed inside you, they might have eventually consumed you. I guess your experiences in the alternate universe brought them to a head." He regarded her with a clinical eye. "Major, you have to accept your past and move on."

She smiled softly. "I think now, maybe I can," a light of forgiveness in her eyes.

He returned the smile, glad to see her dealing with her past. But there was still a matter unresolved. "Now that we've discussed your past, what about your present?"

Kira gave him a strange look. "What about it?"

Julian sat back, relaxing a little. "You started off talking about your duplicate."

Kira gave him a rueful smile. "Ah, yes. _Her_." She was silent for a moment, organizing her thoughts. "Do you know they had something over there we've been wanting for years?"

He thought a second. "I'm assuming you're talking about Bajor."

Kira nodded. "A free and independent Bajor." She paused, reflecting on what the other Kira had told her. "Bajor was finally out from everyone's bootheel, and what does it do? Turns around and becomes the enemy." She fell silent again. Julian respected her privacy and said nothing. "They may have had a few things backwards, but they  _were_ independent. I just wish she would've told me more."

Julian's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "They had more than a 'few things' backwards." He shook his head in confusion. "You actually wanted to know  _more_ about that side? But why? It was a terrible place run by terrible people."

She smiled distractedly. "Yes, it was. But I wanted to know more so I could bring some of it back with me. Maybe it could have helped over here." Her smile vanished. "But she wouldn't do it."

Julian was confused. "Do what? Major, you're not making a lot of sense."

Kira continued like she hadn't heard him. "She complained about our influence. I asked her to influence _us_. I asked her for help. I wanted her to teach me to become the leader of Bajor; help us achieve independence, anything that might help give Bajor something good over here."

Julian reminded her softly, "Major you saw what 'influence' did to their side. Are you sure anything she might have told you would have helped on our side?"

She sat silently for a moment, letting that sink in. "I don't know. And I'll never know, because she refused to help me. How could she refuse to help me, her own self?" She stared at the floor, her thoughts light years away. Suddenly, she gave a short laugh. "She even claimed I was afraid of her."

Julian sensed a question in lingering in the air. "Were you?" he asked quietly.

She raised her eyes to his. "Yes," she whispered. "I feared  _myself_. And that scared me even more."

Julian remained quiet, deciding the best way to get through to her. "Do you realize you were afraid of just a part of yourself, one that their Kira represented?" He waited while she mulled that over. When she nodded, he continued. "Then, you have nothing to be afraid of. You've already faced that part of yourself, and you know what it can do. It cannot control you, now or ever."

He saw the wisps of self-doubt slowly disappear from her eyes, and her old determination surface. He let out a sigh of relief.

She gave him a look of admiration, appreciation, and respect. "Did anyone ever tell you you'd make a pretty good psychiatrist?"

Julian smiled. "No, you're the first." A silence descended on them both. Julian found himself staring at Kira, losing himself in her eyes. He shook his thoughts from the path they were heading down.. "Major, thank you. I know you came to me for help, but you helped me, too."

Kira actually smiled warmly at him. "My pleasure." She glanced at a chronometer. "I should let you get back to...whatever you were doing when I came in."

Remembering the images, Julian shuddered. "I was attempting to meditate." He smiled ruefully. "I wasn't having much luck sleeping."

"Did you try Bajoran meditation?" she teased, a slight smile on her lips.

Julian smiled. "No. I never got the chance to learn. I was distracted in the runabout."

"Well then," Kira rose out of her chair, "we'll just have to change that. Come with me, Doctor." She hesitated when she saw his clothes. "But could you change first? I wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea."

"Where are we going?" Julian asked, going into the bathroom.

"If you're going to learn Bajoran meditation, you're going to learn it properly," she called in to him. He emerged in his earlier outfit, and they walked out the door together. He was surprised when they turned the corner. "Major..?"

She gave him a soft smile. "You should meditate in front of an alter. The public one is too public. Meditation should be private." They reached her quarters. Julian hesitated at her doorway, but she motioned him in. "I won't bite, Doctor," giving him another warm smile.

He stepped in and got his second look at her quarters. The last time he was in here, Kira was leaving the station. His eyes roamed over the alter, set off to the side, but very much a part of her quarters, of her.

"Now then," Kira sank to the floor, sitting in something reminiscent of the lotus position, "let's get started. Have a seat, Doctor." Julian sat down on the floor, awkwardly crossing his legs the same way as hers. "As I recall, I had told you about relaxing. That's the main thing. Relaxing, and listening to ourselves. No trick breathing, no chanting, just inner peace."

She closed her eyes and concentrated on her heartbeat. Julian peeked at her before following suit. He focused on himself, but only found traces of aches and sore muscles. He shifted, trying get comfortable. Kira sensed his movements.

"Doctor?" she said, still with her eyes closed.

He opened one eye. "Hmm?"

"It would help if you didn't move so much. Just try to relax."

"Sorry. I'll try harder." He closed his eyes again, concentrating on his breathing.

She opened her eyes, observing him. She shook her head, faint exasperation creeping into her voice. "Don't try harder. Don't try at all. Just relax. Let your mind wander."

He closed his eyes again, letting his mind wander. Soon, he was able to forget everything. He was drifting along, completely weightless. He saw flashes of blue, yellow, red; a sunset. He had forgotten how one looked; the bright blue sky, more dazzling than the dark, starry day he was used to now. He saw a form coming towards him. It was large, growing larger. He didn't panic, just felt a sense of calm. The form began to take shape. It was a life form, humanoid. As it got closer, he could sense it was a woman. He couldn't make out who it was, but he felt a pleasantness enveloping him. She was standing in front of him, her hands caressing his face.

He jumped slightly at her touch. Her hands were so warm, so gentle, he felt himself falling into her touch. Her face was still blurry, but he could make out short red hair....then a ridged nose. With a start he realized it was Kira. He tried to talk to her, but she silenced him with a kiss. He was astounded. She was being so gentle and comforting, and whatever this was, he felt he deserved some comforting. He raised his arms to bring her closer, but they closed on empty air. He blinked. He was still in her quarters, and Kira was nowhere in sight. His legs were stiff from sitting; he had no idea how long he'd been meditating. He got up and stretched, calling out softly, "Major?" thinking she had gone to bed.

"Yes?" came the soft reply.

He whirled around, and his mind went blank. Kira obviously _had_ gone to bed. She had changed into what he knew was standard Bajoran sleepwear, though it looked stunning on her. It was a sheer nightgown, the soft gold material flowing to her ankles. He had to swallow -hard- and remember who this was in front of him. Major Kira. His superior officer. A woman who didn't like him much. But who looked good in a Bajoran nightgown.

Her face had a soft, dream-like quality about it. "Doctor, I'm sorry you woke up. I didn't want to disturb you. You looked...contented," she practically purred.

He snapped out of it and ordered his thoughts. "That's quite all right. I think I was dreaming. The meditation must have worked." He smiled at her, a flush tinting his caramel skin pink. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Are you feeling all right? You look a bit flushed." She stepped toward him, the nightgown flowing around her.

He flushed deeper. "I'm fine. Really." She stood in front of him, her hand resting lightly on his cheek. His face got very warm where her skin touched him. They stood there for what seemed like hours, searching each others' face for a sign.

Julian closed his eyes and saw his dream; the sunset, the woman, felt the gentle caress. He leaned forward and touched his lips gently to hers. He realized what he just did and his eyes flew open in surprise. Kira was staring at him, a mirror of his own emotions on her face. Then her eyes veiled. Eyes half-closed, she looked like a lynx, surveying her prey. She stepped closer and ran her hands over his chest.

He became acutely aware of just how close they were standing; that she was practically hugging him. He thought of taking a step back, but his legs refused to move. His hands involuntarily reached to caress her shoulders, feeling their silkiness. His large, luminous eyes glowed back at her.

Kira felt a slight flush start over her neck. She wondered what on Bajor she was doing, but only fleetingly. She couldn't think; only feel... Her hands moved to the long curve of his neck, playing with the hair at the nape.

Doubts flooded his mind. "Kira, should we...," he whispered, but she silence him with a finger to his lips. She outlined his lips, then touched her mouth to his lightly.

Their lips met, hesitantly at first, teasing one another. His lips were so warm and gentle, she nearly melted against them. His arms tightened around her, deepening the kiss with every passing moment.

Her strong hands tugged his shirt free, so she could run them up his long, lean back. She could feel the heat of his body; could feel her heart thundering in her chest.

His hands slid the straps off her shoulders, and they struggled to remove their clothing. Flinging clothes aside, Kira pulled Julian to the floor. They were one raw emotion, and it was overpowering.

The next thing either of them knew, they were lying on their backs, each staring at a distant spot on the ceiling. Kira looked unbelievingly at Julian. "What just happened?"

He rolled onto his side and propped his head in his hand. His eyes twinkled with amusement. "I think it's fairly obvious. But, somehow, I don't think that's what you meant," he grinned.

She looked at him sharply. "You are infuriating. WHY did we just...do what we did?"

He pretended to give it great thought. "Well, we were sharing intense emotions and personal experiences. The release could have transferred into...what we just did," he tried to look apologetic, but it was pathetically hopeless. He stared at her with slight amazement, a bit of wonder shining in his eyes, and he was more intrigued by her than before.

She relaxed somewhat. "That sounds believable."

"OR," he continued, his grin turning impish, "it could have been something else. Shared experiences and emotions CAN be very influential." His smile turned knowing. "But the potential has to be there to begin with. Hate and love are very powerful emotions. Some say when one is present, so is the other. Only those who can infuriate us are the ones we care about."

She fixed him with an incredulous look. "Ha! That is ridiculous. This," waving her hand at their appearance, "was a spontaneous act, instigated by _you_ , Doctor!" She poked her finger at him.

"Ah, you're wrong there. This," he also waved, "was instigated by us both. And I think you should call me Julian, after all we've been through." His eyes twinkled.

"OOhhhh" She was getting really worked up. "You, you are...." She was too mad to speak.

"Infuriating?" Julian supplied with barely concealed laughter.

"Yes! NO!" She dropped her head back down on a pillow. "Yes," she whispered. "Ooohhh!" she groaned, covering her face with another pillow. "This isn't possible."

"I'm afraid it is." He broke into a huge smile. "Can I call you Nerys?"

"NO!," she glared at his infuriating smile.

His smile widened. "Well then, can I call you later?"

"NO! No, you may not call me Nerys, and you certainly can't CALL ME LATER!" She sat up, fuming, her face mere inches from his. She was breathing hard, trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Your eyes flash the most amazing colors when your mad." He used his most charming smile, not entirely teasing..

"I AM NOT MAD," she stated through clenched teeth. "I am LIVID." Her gaze faltered for a second -his compliment had thrown her-, and he took the opportunity to give her a quick kiss.

He withdrew quickly, afraid of what she might to do him. He knew he was pushing her, but he wanted something, anything but the spite she was throwing at him. He wanted her to be truthful to herself. And, he wanted to get even for the times _she_ infuriated  _him_.

She was speechless. Even tough his lips had barely brushed hers, they still tingled. _I don't believe this_ , echoed through her mind. _I think_.. _he makes me_... She couldn't complete the thought. It repulsed her. Her body responded, but not in the way she expected. She watched her hand as if it were someone else's, stroking his jaw, running her thumb along his lower lip. Her hand trailed around his neck, feeling the rough texture of his hair, down his chest, back up to his throat. She could feel his pulse, beating out of control; felt his chest rise and fall with arousal. Her eyes followed her hands' path, detecting the little dips and bumps along his skin. She barely noticed his hands around her shoulders, stroking down her back. She just noticed how dark his skin was; such a contrast to her own. She felt goose pimples rise on his arm; saw how she was affecting him. She hadn't realized it, but she had moved closer to him, or he had pulled her closer, she couldn't tell. And she didn't care. She finally raised her eyes to meet his, and was amazed by their color. They were deep brown, with green and gold flecks brightening them. And they were filled with tenderness. She had seen such little tenderness in her life.

She was leaning closer to these mesmerizing eyes; sighing softly when she felt his lips brush hers. The tingling, burning sensation caused her eyes to close. He nuzzled her neck, caught up in the scent of her. She was so warm and soft here, not like the Kira he had known before. This Kira was warm, spirited, fiery...maybe they weren't so different, after all, he thought.

She brought her lips down to his and kissed him thoroughly. His thoughts scrambled. He had never felt a kiss like this before. It seemed to go on forever. And maybe it did. Time was a concept forgotten. All that mattered was the woman in his arms.

She pushed him back down on the floor, not letting him catch his breath. He was drowning in sensations. Their first coupling had been spontaneous and tempestuous. This...this was slow, agonizing torture. And he delighted in every second of it. His head swam; colors flashed on his eyelids; the taste of her sweet in his mouth.

When she finally left his mouth to work on the rest of him, he managed to get out a question. "Kira,," he whispered hoarsely," what are you doing?"

Between kisses she answered, "Surely you've been with Bajoran women before?"

He gasped, "Well..."

She looked up at his face, smiling softly. "Uh-huh. Didn't _any_ of them bother to show you the Dovar?"

He looked questioningly at her. "Dovar? No...," his head shook slightly.

She brightened considerably. "Good. Then you'll have the pleasure of having me introduce it to you."

His eyes lit up. "What is it?"

She gave  _him_ an impish grin. "You've just experienced a small part of it. Wait until I get warmed up..."

She descended upon his body again, throwing his senses into a dizzying spiral. He didn't know how she was doing it. He felt like his skin was on fire. Every nerve ending sang with pleasure. She stopped, and he managed to gulp some air and open his questioning eyes at her concerned ones.

"Julian, are you all right? I thought you were going to pass out."

He look at her in amazement. He had to take some more deep breaths before he could talk. "I'm fine. I was just a bit...overwhelmed."

Kira shook her head. "I had no idea how the Dovar would affect human men. Are you sure you want me to continue?"

His answer was to pull her across him and give her the deepest, longest, most resounding kiss she had ever experienced. After she had caught her breath, she whispered, "I guess that means yes," gazing at him wonderingly.

"That was just 'maybe.' Do you want to see yes?" he replied huskily.

"Oh, most definitely," she answered with a broad smile, as he pulled her back to him.

................................................... Kira woke up stiff. She stretched carefully and bumped into warm flesh. She inhaled sharply, then realized it was Julian. He was still sleeping, his head nestled in the crook of his arm. His hair was tousled badly; as she was sure hers was. She just watched him rest peacefully for a few minutes, then got up and found a robe. She felt too good to get dressed. She felt more relaxed than ever - due to a good night's sleep, she told herself. She did a few stretches and made some breakfast. She settled on the couch, her feet tucked up. She ate as quietly as she could, but she was starving.

She jumped slightly when Julian muttered something, then laughed lightly. "You've forgotten how other people sound, you've been alone for so long," she whispered to herself.

She tried not to think of the previous night, but with Julian still in front of her, his lean body still in her sight, she couldn't. Not only had he caught on to the Dovar, he had shown her a few things. 'Definitely a woman chaser. Probably had dozens of women. I'm just another one of his flings.' She shook herself from those thoughts and went to meditate. Maybe 'centering' herself was what she needed. She definitely wasn't feeling like herself. She knelt down and tried to relax, but Julian's presence was still with her. "I give up," she muttered. Every thought she had came back to the man behind her.

"You are infuriating," she whispered as she knelt by his sleeping form, lightly brushing his hair. He shifted, his hand coming to rest on her knee. She decided it was time for him to wake up.

"Julian. Julian," she whispered. He looked so peaceful. So contented. In her quarters. "Doctor," she called a bit louder. She gently shook his shoulder.

He was floating on the water, being carried by a gently wave, when he finally drifted out of sleep. He opened his eyes sleepily at Kira, kneeling by him, in a robe. He smiled sleepily. "I'm still dreaming," he mumbled, and closed his eyes.

"Doctor." The old Kira was back.

His eyes flew open. He sat up quickly, rubbing one eye. "Major, what's happened?"

"Nothing. I just thought you would want some breakfast." She got up and walked over to the replicator.

"Breakfast. Yes. Good." He was still half asleep, but memories of the previous night crashed through his mind and he was wide awake instantly. He spotted his crumpled clothes strewn about, and tried to put them back on. The pants legs were inside out, as was the shirt. He saw Kira's nightgown in a similar condition a few feet away.

"What'll it be?" Kira called from the replicator.

"Um, Tarkalian tea, extra sweet. And some pancakes and bacon. Please." He flashed her an attempt at a smile. His mind was desperately trying to think of something to say. "What time is it?"

Kira glanced over at a chronometer. "It's 0838." She shifted her gaze to Julian, who was sliding one of his strong, long legs into his pants. She quickly turned back to the replicator.

"It smells wonderful. Thank you," he said as he sat down. "Aren't you going to eat anything?" he asked in the 'concerned Doctor' voice.

She shook her head. "No. I already ate. Go ahead, I'll...get dressed."

He watched her as she left the room, the way her body moved gracefully under the sheer robe. As she turned the corner, he turned his concentration to his breakfast. Even though he had almost stuffed himself last night, he ate quickly and ordered another batch of pancakes. He was just finishing his second helping when Kira returned, looking like her usual self. She gave him a surprised look. "You weren't hungry?"

"Oh, no," he smiled sheepishly. "This is my second helping."

She looked uncomfortable. "Oh. Well. At least your feeling better." She flashed him a quick smile.

"Actually, I feel pretty good. I think after my daily exercises, I should be almost back to normal."

Another shock for Kira. "You work out?"

He nodded as he put down his tea. "Every day. You always say I have a lot of ...enthusiasm. Well, these exercises give me lots of energy."

"I'll say," she muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry?" Julian said, either not quite hearing what she said, or wanting to hear her repeat it.

"Uh...It's good that you keep in shape. Most Starfleet types don't bother."

Julian smiled. "Being a Doctor, it wouldn't be fair to tell my patients to keep in shape if I didn't. It's just a personal code."

Kira was impressed. "That's very commendable."

An uncomfortable silence fell over them. Both jumped to fill it. "I should..." "I have..."

Kira started again. "I have some things to take care of, starting with that report about New Bajor."

Julian nodded agreement. "I should at least check on my patients. I'm sure the Commander would understand."

Another silence followed, neither one of them moving. Julian stared down at his hands, folded on the table. "We need to talk."

"I agree." Kira sat in front of him, her hands folded on the table.

It was easier to tease her about this last night, but now, when they would have to face the rest of the station soon....Julian began, "What we went through...it caused a familiarity, shared experience kind of thing. Spontaneous. Won't ever happen again."

Kira breathed a sigh of relief. "I was going to say the same thing. About the shared experience. We weren't acting like ourselves. It was the...emotional turmoil we went through."

Juilian sighed with relief. "Exactly." "And it won't happen again," Kira repeated firmly. "Absolutely." "Absolutely."

Another silence came between them, but the room was filled with a sort of sadness, wistfulness.

Julian got to his feet,. "Well, I should be going in case Dax does decide to check on me. She'll panic." The corner of his mouth lifted in a half-hearted smile. "I sort of lost my comm badge."

Kira rose as well. "I'll order you a new one."

Julian shook his head. "Not necessary. It was one of the things I was going to do before I went back on duty."

Her face returned to her business as usual look. "Good. Call if you need any help with the reports."

"I will. I guess I'll see you later in OPS." Julian flashed a quick smile and headed for the door. Before he reached it, Kira stopped him. "Doctor."

He turned around. "Yes, Major?"

A smile played about her lips. "You can call me Kira."

He gave her a heartwarming smile. "And you can call me Julian, but only if you feel comfortable."

"Maybe I will." She returned the smile, and he was gone. He stopped outside her door, a contemplative expression on his face. He raised his hand to ring the chime, then stopped. He dropped his arm, turned on his heel, and went back to his quarters.

She took a step toward the door, then halted. She shook her head, reminded herself of all the things she had to do, and headed for her terminal.

..................................................... Julian had occupied himself for the rest of the morning. He had ordered a new uniform and comm badge, checked on his patients, read the station reports for the week, and written the report about the medical facilities on New Bajor, including more recommendations. He was putting off the report about the crossover. His stomach reminded him it was lunchtime, so he set out for the replimat.

The sight of so many people talking and laughing made him smile involuntarily. He was in civilian clothes, and the new arrivals to the station didn't know who he was. He liked it, until he tried to find a seat.

"Julian." He looked around at the sound of his name. He spotted Dax motioning to him. Kira was with her, her fork stopped halfway to her mouth. She set it down with a -plunk- as he approached.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. You look no worse for wear." Dax's concerned expression vanished as she saw the old charming smile appear on Julian's face..

He glanced quickly at Kira, who blushed slightly. "I feel great. A good night's sleep was all that was needed. I'm ready to go back on duty."

Dax was looking at both of them, her mind whirling. _Something's going on here, and I want to know what_. She glanced at Julian. He had a distracted look as he ate. "Julian, I tried to call you this morning, but you didn't answer."

He swallowed in one gulp. "I lost my comm badge over there. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you. I should have a new one waiting for me in the infirmary by the time I report for duty."

Dax glanced from one to the other, wondering what had happened last night. Julian was averting his gaze. Kira was unusually quiet. She decided to address both of them. "Have you had a chance to work out what happened over there? I know it wasn't a pleasant experience."

She watched them both carefully, measuring their expressions. They both looked uncomfortable. Kira spoke first. "Pleasant is definitely not the word I would use. Coming face to face with yourself- let's just say I don't recommend it." A brief smile appeared. "I got tired of listening to myself talk. Both of myselves."

Julian stepped in. "I find that hard to believe. After all, you had so much in common."

Kira stared at him as if he had lost his mind. Then she threw her napkin at him as he started to laugh. She joined in. "Oh, yes. We could have talked for  _hours_ about how to improve ore processing."

Dax was speechless from this exchange. She had  _never_ seen Kira act anything but annoyed at Bashir, and here she sat, in the replimat, joking around with him. Then the thought hit her. _Face to face with yourself_? She couldn't sit still at that. "Wait. You encountered yourself?" she asked incredulously.

Kira gave her a surprised look. "You didn't know?" She turned to Julian. "You didn't tell her?"

Julian shook his head. "I felt it was your decision to tell or not." He had a bit more respect for Kira after what she had gone through. She had faced herself and came away a better person.

Kira was impressed yet again. Clearly, she had underestimated the Doctor's - Julian's compassion. He wasn't just an annoying pest. He was a warm, caring person, who sometimes cared a bit too much.

Dax stared in silent amazement. _Kira had met herself, Julian had worked in the mines, I wonder what else they're not telling me_? "Just what exactly happened over there?" she demanded. "Were only a select group of us duplicated over there?"

Kira and Julian glanced at each other. "It will be in our reports," Kira answered vaguely.

Dax wasn't giving up. "Who was there? I wasn't, Julian wasn't, you were...what about O'Brien? Sisko?"

"I saw O'Brien, but don't tell him that. Please," Julian said desperately, then fell silent. Dax had reminded him that he still had to face O'Brien, knowing what he knew about his counterpart. He stared at his glass, eyes distant.

Before Dax could put a reassuring hand on his arm, Kira's hand was on his. "Remember how we left him? He'll be all right with Sisko."

"Sisko was there?" Dax smelled a conspiracy. "Am I ever going to know the whole truth?" She may as well been talking to herself. Kira and Julian were in their own little world, looking withdrawn. Dax was beginning to feel like a third wheel.

She tried again. "What about the rest of the station? Did you recognize anyone else?"

Julian and Kira exchanged looks. They decided it was time to share their experience.

Julian took a steadying breath, and nodded. "Yes. Odo was there. And Garak."

"And Quark," Kira added softly.

Dax was really confused. Kira look depressed; almost in mourning, and Julian looked hurt, like his best friend had betrayed him. Maybe he had.

Before they got too despondent, Dax decided to change the subject. She wasn't getting anywhere, anyway. "When do you go back on duty?"

Both glanced up. "In about an hour." Kira shook off her mood. "When are you due back at OPS?"

Dax looked startled. "Oh, umm, 10 minutes ago. I'll see you in OPS, Kira. Bye, Julian." She got up with a last curious glance at them, and left.

Kira and Julian sat in silence for a moment, staring at the table. They glanced at each other, then broke out in laughter.

"Did you see the look on her face?" Julian gasped, holding his sides.

" _Hers_? What about _yours_ when we were joking around about the other Kira?" Kira gasped for breath, wiping her eyes.

Julian's laughter died away. "I hope we didn't hurt her feelings. I guess she feels left out. After all, she wasn't there at all."

"We don't know that. She just wasn't on the station." Kira's momentary relief sobered. She glanced into Quark's, seeing him at the Dabo table. " I feel like I should apologize to Quark for getting him in trouble with Garak."

Julian could sympathize. "I know how you feel. I want to find Odo and apologize. After all," he lowered his voice, "I did kill him over there," that impish smile appearing again.

Kira smiled. "I don't think he'll hold it against you," she said dryly. "I saw him not an hour ago, and he was getting ready to talk to Quark about some freighter that was coming in. I should be there."

Julian's face fell. "Oh. You're going. I don't know whether to wish you luck or not, with catching Quark in the act." He thought a second, then smiled. "Good luck, Kira."

"Thank you....Julian," Kira said with a smile, and left.

THE END


End file.
